Its been a while

I never have the energy to blog anymore, or feel like getting on the computer. I just finished school, so I have no need to jump on the computer when I get home. I sit in front of a computer screen all day at work and that's the last thing I want to do when I get home or on the weekends.
Here is an update...
I am now 17.4 weeks! I am still amazed that every week I have made it that much further. I feel like time is flying by, I am really hoping it starts to slow down a bit. We get to find out the gender of our little peanut a week from today, so after that I will not mind one bit if time drags on. We have not done one thing to prepare for this little nugget yet, and with DH working ALL the time it will be hard to get the room painted and stuff put together. I may be calling my brother or friends for some help.
I have been feeling wonderful!! I can't complain anymore, I have most of my energy back and feeling good. I have only gained 4lbs so far so I am on track to not gaining 900lbs. I feel the baby move a lot more now, and that is very exciting. I can't wait until DH is able to feel it, I think that will make this pregnancy really sink in for him. He still tells me all the time that he forgets I am even pregnant. I notice I get sore very easily, mostly in my hip joints and my back. Just giving the dogs a bath which never used to be a problem is more difficult now. I don't even know what it will be like when I am bigger. If I sit too long or stand to long that makes me sore too. But, that is about it nothing too exciting.
Here is a picture of my belly I took at 17 weeks:

Hello Second Trimester!!

Today I have reached 13 weeks! I have read different places the second trimester starts week 12, 13, and 14, however I am going with week 13. I am very excited and grateful to have made it this far, and I hope my baby continues to stay put and grow. The last couple weeks have been pretty uneventful, with the exception of a few days last week. Wednesday and Thursday were not too nice to me. I had a very hard time eating lunch both those days. I felt like I was going to gag with each bite I took. So, I ate what I could and left it at that. Dinner time I was completely fine, and no issues eating. So, I am not sure what that was all about.
I have noticed that it is a lot harder for me to eat what I am used to at one time. I get full pretty fast, but then hungry again a couple hours later. I think I am learning to just put aside the rest of my dinner or lunch for when I am hungry again to finish it. Pregnancy has a lot of things to get used too. I never realized just how much things do change, for instance sleep! I have always heard the last trimester is the worst for sleep, but no one ever told me you have trouble sleeping the WHOLE time you are pregnant. It has been a good 13 weeks since I have slept ALL the way through the night. I wake up either because I have to pee, which is on average 2 times a night, or because I have some sort of crazy dream that wakes me up. Then, I usually have a hard time falling back to sleep. I think this is why pregnant women are always tired, they don't get any sleep at night.

Well here are a couple pictures for you guys, my 13 week belly shot which I think is starting to round out at the bottom and the six week to compare. Enjoy :)

11 weeks!

Two more weeks in the first trimester! My time flies. This past week has been pretty uneventful for the most part. I had one day where I wasn't feeling very well. But, the big news is that we had another ultrasound! I was sad that Jake wasn't able to go, and I think he was a little disappointed too. The ultrasound tech was awesome she was so sweet and told me everything. The baby has grown so much in the last 3 weeks. It actually looks like a baby now. I was able to see the baby moving and wiggling around. We saw the baby stretch out his legs and moving its head up and down. It was moving so much the tech said she was having a hard time keeping up with the baby. We were able to take a listen to the heartbeat and it sounded so much stronger and faster than the last time. I think this last ultrasound made it even more real that I am actually growing a little person.
Here are some pictures from the ultrasound.

10 Weeks!

I have made it to 10 weeks! I still have trouble believing that I am actually pregnant, except for the fact that my tummy is starting to expand a bit. I have an ultrasound this Tuesday too see our little peanut! I can't wait to see how much he/she has grown in the last three weeks. I am getting very anxious to find out what we are having. I would love to start buying some little things, but everything I want I would want to know what we are having.
I have been feeling great the last few days. I am hoping that sticks around. I have been having issues with my allergies. I went to the pharmacy yesterday and asked the pharmacist what he thinks would be okay for me to take, and he said nothing. The only thing he would recommend is saline nasal spray. I tried it and it works pretty good. The other issue I have been having is getting annoyed very easily. I seem to have lost my filter when I do get to my breaking point. I am trying my hardest to work on that, but hopefully that goes away with the second trimester.
Here is an updated belly picture. I have attached my six week and ten week so you can see the difference.

First OB appointment!

I had my very first OB appointment today! I feel like that was such a huge accomplishment. I am now 9 weeks and 4 days, I have been feeling worse than I have in the previous weeks. I don't feel nausous, just yucky and extreemly tired. I can't seem to sleep too well anymore. I wish I could have one night where I could sleep the WHOLE night with out having to wake up and pee or wake up at all.
So, on to the Dr. appointment. I got to the office filled out all the paper work and waited. The nurse called me back and me pee in a cup, asked a billion questions, took my temp and my blood pressure. My blood pressure was high,but I think it was just because of nerves, but they will keep an eye on it since I have had issues with it in the past. The Dr. then came in and did a pap and pelvic exam. She said she could feel my uterus getting big and I am definetly pregnant! She told me they don't normally do ultrasounds until 16 weeks, but because I have been through so much to get pregnant she will let me come back in a week or two for an ultrasound and for a follow up with her after. So, I am extreemly exctied about that. I wanted at least one more ultrasound before the gender scan, so I am happy with that. I then had my blood drawn. The nurse took 8 vials of blood and in turned left me with a big bump and a black and blue arm. So, now I am just waiting for the u/s tech to call so I can set up my appointment.
Oh and before I forget I have not gained any weight I am the same as I was two weeks ago, so still down 3lbs.

I have graduated!!!

Well that's right, I have graduated from my Fertility Doctor onto an OB! We just had our last ultrasound at the fertility doctor's office today. The baby measured a day ahead at 7w5d, and little peanuts heart rate was 148bpm. I cannot believe how much bigger the baby is this week than it was last week. It's really unbelievable, I guess they really do grown fast. The nurse says everything is measuring and looking perfect.
The nurses all came up to me after the ultrasound to congratulate me and tell me how happy they were after such a long journey we have been on. They made me promise to bring the baby in once it is born and to send pictures. I started crying when they were hugging me it was a wonderful moment. I have been to that office so many times for ultrasouds, IUI's, bloodwork, and other tests, I can't believe I am done. It was such a happy moment. Oh and I also lost 2 more pounds so far I am down a total of 3 pounds since I got pregnat and 10 pounds since I started the metformin. So I figure that is 10 free pounds I get. haha
I have made my first OB appointment for the 24th. I can't wait! I am really hoping we get another ultrasound. So cross your fingers and toes.
Here are a couple of the pictures we got from today.

7 weeks today :)

Well we made it another week! I feel so blessed to be caring this little angle. After being able to hear it's heart beating away it made it feel so much more real. I can't imagine what it will feel like when I feel it's first kicks. This last week was overall a pretty good one. I was feeling pretty good, until the day after the ultrasound. Friday I felt so bad I just wanted to leave work and come home. I was so tired and just didn't feel good. I could hardly eat anything because my stomach was so upset. Once I got home I went to bed and woke up at 5:30 on Saturday. Saturday was not any better I felt like I had a hangover almost. I was so tired and had an upset stomach. But today I feel great! It might have to do with the 11 hours of sleep I got and I didn't have to get up and pee until 5:45! What an accomplishment for a pregnant lady! I am getting very excited for our next ultrasound on Thursday, I wish I could get one every week. After this ultrasound I will be officially graduating to a real OB who I will be seeing the rest of the pregnancy!

Here is my belly shot from this week and last week to compare. The top one is this week and the bottom was last week. I think they look the same no growing yet. Oh and I lost a whole pound! I guess thats one more I can gain later on. haha

Houston We Have A Heartbeat!!!!!!!!!!

Today we are 6weeks and 4days pregnant. We had our first ultrasound to see our little peanut. I slept horrible last night because I was so excited, scared, anxious, nervous, happy, and so many other emotions in anticipation to the ultrasound this morning. Jake had a hard time sleeping as well. Which surprises me I never thought he was going to be so excited or at least show his excitement. He never really shows too much emotion but since I found out we were pregnant he has been awesome! So we get to the Dr. and we were both shaking while we waited in the waiting room. Then they called us back.
The nurse came in and got started. She said we should hear the heartbeat and she didn't lie. We started the ultrasound and she instantly found the little bean. Apparently it likes to hide in the corner of its sac so we didn't get the best pictures but that was fine. Maybe it was trying to sleep all curled up in the corner haha. The nurse then turned on the sound and then I heard the most wonderful noise I think I can ever hear... The heartbeat :) It was amazing both Jake and I started to cry. We have waited so long for this moment and its finally here. Everything measured perfect and the baby's heart was beating at a nice 132bpm.
We get to go back again next thrusday for another ultrasound! I am so excited. Then we will be released to our OB who we will be seeing the rest of our pregnancy.
Here are a couple of pictures we got today of little baby

6 weeks today :)

Today we are six weeks pregnant! I am so happy we have made it though one more week, now only 34 more to go. haha That sounds like forever and ever away. This last week went by pretty quickly and was pretty uneventful. I am still having the same symptoms as the week before, exhaustion, sore boobs, gassy, and bloating. I have had only one urge to throw-up so far, after I ate two grapefruit. They were so yummy, but my tummy did not feel so well after. It seems like the mornings are a little more rough for me now, not that I have morning sickness, but more like the symptoms I do have are a lot worse.
We have our first ultrasound on Thursday, so I am really praying that this long weekend will help the time go by a little more quickly. I am also praying to see one healthy strong heartbeat I should be 6 weeks 4 days, so I do know it could be a little early still to not hear it. I feel like everything is going well, and I don't have anything to worry about. Ever since I found out I was pregnant it was like all the stress and worry went away. Don't get me wrong I still worry that something could be wrong but I don't seem to think about it much.
Here are two belly shots the one with the blue shirt was taken at 5 weeks and the one with the black shirt was taken today. Not much change yet, I have always had a little fluff around my belly. I actually think look smaller this week than I did last week.

5 weeks today!

So, today I am 5 weeks! It is still so hard from me to believe that I am pregnant. I don't think it will actually sink in until our first ultrasound where I can see my baby and hopefully hear it's little heart beating. So far, I have been feeling pretty good. I have been getting a lot more tired than normal. I am able to just fall asleep not too long after hitting the pillow. I also seem to sleep so much better, other than waking up every night to have to go pee. At least I have only had to wake up once a night. My boobs seem to be getting bigger and are still pretty sore. I haven't been to emotional or sick yet so that is a great news. I guess that sometimes doesn't hit until about six week, my fingers are crossed that I don't have any barfy moments.
I worry more and more it seems like that something may go wrong. I thing the excitement of just finding out has started to slowly take a backseat to the I hope everything is fine with the baby and I don't miscarry. I feel like everything is going so slowly and I will never make it to my second trimester. I just pray my baby stays safe and tucked inside for the next 8 months.

Well Its Official...

I am pregnant!!!!

I have been so tired to update, but here is the story:

So my birthday was on Tuesday May 18th and the day af would officially be late. So, I didn't want to have a horrible birthday I decided I would test the night before, so I could be sad about not being pregnant once again, that way I could be sad that night and have a good birthday. I went to the bathroom and peed on the test, set it on the tub and left the bathroom for about three minutes. When I came back to my surprise it was POSITIVE and I mean very positive. I first called my Mom and then my husband. My husband was in just about as much shock as I was. Just to make sure it wasn't a joke I drank about a cup of water and then took two more tests, and as soon as I set them down they were positive.
First thing in the morning I called the RE and let them know the good news. They had me come in and do a blood test to confirm the pregnancy. My first beta came back at 461 at 16dpo, which the nurse said was really good. I went again this morning for a repeat and the numbers doubled like they were supposed to and now are at 867 at 18dpo!
The nurse had me make an appointment for our first ultrasound. So, we get the first peek at baby J in two weeks! June 3rd at 10am. This next two weeks are going to drag on and on I just know it. It will most likely be worse the any other tww I have ever been through.

Now I guess I get to change this blog from ttc to a pregnancy blog. I am going to try to update at least once a week, and once I get further along I may add some belly pictures here and there.

yet another TWW...

Well yesterday we had our 6th and final IUI yesterday. If this last IUI cycle does not result in a pregnancy we will be moving to IVF, I don't know if I am happy, sad or mad about this but I decided I will deal with that if and when it comes down to it. I am staying hopeful for this cycle, after all it is only 1 dpo. We did the same meds we did last cycle: 2.5mg of Femara, 75iu of Follistim and 75iu of Menopour. I went for my Follical check on cd 10 and to our amuzment I had a whole lot of follies growing. On my right ovary I had a 20, 20, 15, 13, 12 and on the left there was a 14, 12, and 10 and my lining was 8mm. This has been by far the best results so far. I was ready to trigger that night! We then went for our IUI on Sunday. The IUI went well too, DH had 38.7 million swimmers after the wash so not too bad. Hopefully one of those little guys or girls finds one of those nice big ripe eggs. I am so ready to be a Mama. I have a good feeling about this cycle and ready for things to turn around and start working with me instead of against me.
We are going to California this weekend to visit my family, so I am hoping its a nice relaxing time and will help the tww speed by a tad quicker. I am hoping I have some good news to share with everyone in two weeks. Oh and my test day is two days before my 27th birthday, so what a wonderful birthday gift that would be.

First cycle back at the fertility Doctor

We finally went back to the fertility dr and started yet another round of fertility treatments. Baseline u/s went well no cysts to worry about and was told to start my meds. This time they had me on 5mg of Femara cd 3-7, 75iu of Follistim cd 3-6, and 75iu of Menopur cd 8,and 10. I went in for my follical check on cd 10 and they found 2 nice sized follicles and some smaller ones, they had me do one more shot of Menopur cd 12 and trigger cd 13 and head on back for the IUI on cd 15.
The IUI went wonderful DH's swimmers looked great, and the IUI went smooth no pain at all. The nurse said to call her in 14 days and give her the good news of a Positive Pregnancy Test.
I thought our tww would fly by since we were going to El Paso, TX to visit DH's Grandparents and Dad. Little did I know the TWW doesn't seem to go any faster when you are busy on vacation. We have been back for a week now and that brings us to 13dpo.
Today, I took my temperature like normal and surprise, surprise my temp is still up! That is pretty strange for me, so I descided to test. I have been "feeling" pregnant this last week. I have been so so tired and have had a headache for the past week. So, I had some high hopes to see a BFP this morning, but yet once again another let down.
At first the negative tests didn't bother me, and I just figured they must be wrong. But, now I know they are not. I have been PMS'ing pretty bad this afternoon, everyone and everything is pissing me off. And most of all I am about to break down and start to cry for really no reason at all!
I guess I have a reason, another negative pregnancy test. I just don't understand why I just can't get pregnant. Really is it too much to ask for? We have been having unprotected sex and not trying to prevent a pregnancy for 2 1/2 years and trying with medical help for 16 going on 17 months now. I never thought it was going to take this long. I thought the most maybe 6 months to a year, but that time has come and gone.
I told myslef I was not going to cry and get upset this cycle if it didn't work we would just try again. This TTC stuff is so much harder than I ever let on and I even try to fool myself. All I have ever wanted is to be a Mom and sometimes I feel like it is not going to happen. I try my hardest to stay positive and think positive thoughts. For the most part I think I do a good job it's just the last few days of the darn TWW that is so hard. When I just know in my heart it is not our month yet again.
I supposse I am still not out of the game just yet since AF hasn't even arived, but I am pretty sure I am. So, I guess time to start planning what to do for our next cycle.

Let the fun begin!!

I woke up this morning and took my temp as usual. It went down again and I thought to myself AF should definitely be here tomorrow morning. Well once I head to the bathroom I noticed oh AF is here?? So weird, first I normally have some pretty intense cramps a day or two before she arrives, but nothing at all, and second my boobs are usually not sore any more, but still are. Weird but oh well, I was just happy she has finally arrived after a 39 day cycle. I have not had a cycle this long in about 2 years.
Since we have decided that we were going to start ttc again the first thing I did on my way to work this morning was call my RE to schedule an appointment to come in for a baseline cyst check u/s. Luckily for me, they were able to squeeze me in today, so I didn't have to sit and let my mind wonder if I was actually going to be able to start this cycle with meds or not.
Thankfully, I have NO CYSTS!!!!! And they got two new nurses that were awesome they were so nice and so much more friendly than the old one who used to do all the u/s. I have a good feeling about all this, but I am still cautiously optimistic about it all actually working and finally have me dreams come true of holding a little precious baby in my arms.

Update on Ovulation...

Well, it looks like I have FINALLY ovulated. Extreemly late for me, but at least I did. It seems I ovulated cd 25. Which is fine with me, we have a vacation coming up so I am glad that we will still be able to try with the Doctor this next cycle, and I will spend the first week of the two week wait (tww) on vacation. So, hopefully being on vacation will make the wait go by a lot faster than it normally does.
Since af should be here in about a week and a half I am going to realx and try not to think about ttc at all. Since, I know I am not going to be pregnant this cycle since we didn't bd around ovulation. I am going to enjoy the next week before the crazy ride of meds and shots start. The emotional rollercoaster is not sounding too much fun. However, since I know what I am getting myself into I am hoping it will be a lot easier this time to deal with it all. I had a nice 5 month break of meds, and I am ready to be crazy Sheena again!

Please work with me body... PLEASE!!!!!

Well, we went to back to the doctor last week, and spoke to him about what our next step should be. The Dr went over a blood test they had given last time we were in his office. The blood draw was to test my insulin levels they came back in the normal range but high normal, so we decided that we will try Metformin to see if that regulates my hormones and everything. From what I have read this could help me get pregnant! Then we got into the good stuff...the meds. We decided to stay around the same track as before, femara and injections. But this time, we are going to do femara cycle days(cd) 3 thru 7 but add the follistim injections those same days and add another type of injection Menupor on cd 8 and 10, then the trigger shot and IUI. I am hoping with the extra meds it does the trick and bing, bang, bomb we are pregnant. We are all ready to get started we are just waiting for my period to get here so we can start. Which brings me to my WONDERFUL body.
We have been on our little ttc break since October every month I have ovulated anywhere from cd 16-19. Well of course this month since I am ready to start trying again my body doesnt want to ovulate! WTF! So now on cd 23 I still dont think I have ovulated..bummber. I would really just love for aunt flow to get here so we can start trying again. I am just getting really frustrated that my body will never just go with the flow and do what it's supposed to.

Welcome to the Dark Side...

There can be quite a dark side, as I will call it to trying to get pregnant. A side I have not shared with many people, but I have decided since I started this blog to help me deal with all my crazy emotions of trying to get knocked up, being completely honest would help me the most.
So, here I go... The first month of ttc was also the first time I realized that if you want to get pregnant be friends with me! When we stared trying to get pregnant so did two of my really close friends. They were extremely lucky and both got pregnant right away. I was so happy for them, one because I was going to have two babies to play with and two because they would not have to face the Hell I was about too. Now, here is the hard part and the honest part there were times when we would all be together that it would be so hard to be around them not because I was jealous, but because it was a reminder of that's were I could have been if my body wasn't such a piece of crap. Now they have two of the most adorable babies I have ever seen! Then on to my boss at work who also had no issues what so ever getting pregnant. Again I was happy for her because she wouldn't have to experience the sadness or heartbreak month after month of TTC and nothing. She too has now had her baby.
Now on to the medication that I have been on that I would like to refer to as my Crazy Drugs. First, Femara,this is the first crazy drug I had to take. At first I just took one tiny tiny pill cycle days 3-7 then later it was up to two pills. These were not too bad, however the week I was taking them I was mad and so pissed off at nothing one second and then totally normal the next. Jake would look at me wrong and I would bite his head off, then two seconds later I was crying and saying how sorry I was. The second crazy drug I had was the HCG shot. I had to give this to myself once a month to help induce ovulation so we could time our IUI's right. Now HCG is pregnancy hormone, and you can imagine what that can do to you. This stays in your system for up to 10-14 days. So, that too made me a little unstable emotionally but not too bad. And the third crazy drug was the FSH. This stuff can really do some damage. I was giving myself four shots of this a month for two months. This is what I think pushed me over the edge. I was seriously crying just about everyday, and not always because I was sad, but half the time for stupid stuff. Songs, commercials, someone that looked at me, and I would just break down.
I don't think I was mentally prepared for what I was about to go through. I have always heard it was emotionally taxing to go through fertility treatments, but didn't realize how hard this would be. I thank God for the friends and family I have that have been so supportive. Even though sometimes I still feel like nobody understands they are still there for me no matter what. I have come to realize that no one can understand the feeling I have about this, but they can try and they do and that's what counts. I also am so thankful for how supportive Jake is. He is always there to hold me when I just can't handle anymore and just need to cry.
Now, after all of that you would probably think, WOW this girl has given up on trying to get pregnant. But, NOPE we are going to get back to it all again. I just made an appointment today to return to TTC. Our appointment is February 25th. We will be meeting with the Dr. to go over everything we have done and what our new game plan will be.
So, stay tuned for more excitement. And by the way I don't plan on making this whole blog about the down side of ttc. I plan on writing about happy things too :)

Let's get Started!!

So, I have finally decided to start a blog on our trying to concive (ttc) journey. I don't even know where to get started. Well since ttc involves two people I guess I could start with how Jake and I met.
Jake and I first met in high school where we went on a double date with different people. He was dating one of my friends at the time, and I was with someone one else. After high school we didn't see each other until about two years after we graduated we had a mutual friend so we hung out a few times. That is when he asked me one day if I wanted to go to a party with him, I said sure why not. So, after going to that party with him it was all over from there, and we have been together ever since. A year and a half after we started dating we decided to move to Arizona together, and about six months after moving to Arizona we got engaged and married a year and a half later. That brings us to ttc.
I was diagnosed with Polycystic Overian Syndrom (PCOS) in 2007. PCOS is what is preventing us from having a baby. With PCOS it prevents me from ovulating normally. In September 2008 we decided that we wanted to start trying to get pregant. We new from the beginning that we were going to need some kind of help getting pregnant. I went to the doctor to discuss our options and what we should do first. She ran a bunch of tests and confermend my diagnosis of PCOS. In December we officially started trying to get pregnant. My Dr. put me on Femara to help me ovulate. She tested my blood to make sure the femara was doing its job, and it was. I was ovulating! I forgot to mention this Dr. told me she didn't think it would take us long to get pregnant because I am not overweight, I am young, and I have always had regular periods. We will soon learn she was TOTALLY WRONG!!!!!!!!!! So, we tried the femara for about 5 months with no sucsess. Oh yeah, after the 3rd month of trying we had Jake's little swimmers tested and... He is just fine! Thank God, I would much rather only one of us have and issue. After, all of this she reffered me to a fertility specialist.
This is where the hell beggins!!! We met witht he Fertility Doctor or RE in June of 2009. He ran more tests and he too seemed very optomistic that with a little extra medication and IUI we should be pregnant pretty fast. We ended up doing two cycles of femara and IUI and of course nothing came of that. So, we decided to add to the femara by doing injections of FSH to also help increase the amount of follicals produced to help increase our chances of consiving. Those two cycles didn't work either. That is when I decieded I needed a break.
During all of the active ttc cycles I was an emotional wreck. During the cycles of Femara only it wasn't too bad, however I did cry every time I stared my period. I would also usually have a nice cry a few days before my period came because I just knew it wasn't our month again. The real fun came once we stared seeing the RE and I was put on more meds. I was crying all the time and when I was not crying I was a raging BIOTCH. I am so surprised that Jake never just through me out of the house because I was so crazy. I think between the frustration of not getting pregnant and the hormones from all the medication my body just went nuts! The last cycle we did I decided that would be the last for a few months, I could no longer handle the rollercoaster of emotions I was on, it was literally HELL!
Well, I think this is enough for everyone to soak up for today and I will share the rest of what I have been through tomorrow.